NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS PREDICT FUTURE DISASTERS

by Danny Archila · January 10, 2024

As I have said for an eternity, and will continue to say, every day is already a new year. The fact that we designate a celebration too close to Christmas and way too early in the Wintertime for anyone to celebrate outside comfortably, is absolutely nightmarish. Not to mention, how ridiculous is it that we have a globe so large, there are one too many time zones for everyone’s own “new years” celebrations to properly synchronize with each other? Shouldn’t there be a requirement to just experience the same new year as the folks at the forefront of time, in Kiribati.

Once it’s New Year there, it should be New Year everywhere!

But nope. That’s not how passing time on Earth works. So if that’s the case, then how, pray tell, is the method to seeing the World-at-Large pass you by in the blink of an eye? A combination of rotating on magnetic axes and revolving around the Sun in the center of the Solar System. But that’s not what you clicked on this article to learn about. You’re far more invested in the likelihood that no matter what goal you possess in 2024, the end results will curse you just as similar to how you faced afflicting circumstances in 2023.

In other words; what are new worries you should have about old resolution classics?

Better diet becomes so intoxicating to chase, that suddenly you dog on anyone who has so much of a chocolate muffin.

Losing weight may in itself involve using a portable desk that you can run with at the same time of running a personal hotspot.

Taking your brain seriously might result in you contracting some psychic abilities such as telekinesis, clairvoyance and even hypnosis.

Quitting bad habits like overdrinking or under smoking can drastically change the flow of your friend group. Suddenly, you’re “that guy.”

To travel more would be of a great advantage, except you may end up crossing over on uncharted territory and risk upsetting the locals.

Regular meditation?! How?! Who’s going to meditate at all except for when they know life could be going better?

The drive you may have to be a better employee overall could lessen your ambitions to be a better hang. Making work your life? Yuck!

Are you truly spending more time with your family? Or are you just saying that because you don’t know how to ask out that girl in your hometown?

New Year Resolutions shouldn’t be so life-changing.

Whatever happened to the simple read a book or go to a concert type of prompts? You can’t see yourself actually doing that? I can. I have a couple of issues with smut in them I’ve still to crack open. And it would be of great benefit for my still-developing immaturity to interpret the world at-large as I know it is: Impact over Intention. Sadly, that’s the truth of it all. Whatever you mean to do is always going to be quieter than how what you did hit others hardcore. Just something to consider.