KATE MIDDLETON EP’S ‘HIDE AND SEEK THE TRUTH’ DOC

After a Stanley Cup relevant-cycle’s length of prodding, the secret behind Kate Middleton’s disappearance has led to a cancer diagnosis gone public. After these revelations, it’s become glaringly apparent that the Princess of Wales won’t take this lying down. Except for when she’s undergoing chemotherapy. Then she has no choice but to lie down. Truth of the matter is, in honor of Trans Visibility Day, Princess Middleton will be involved in the least mid project of her life. (This includes her marriage to P. Diddy’s Best Friend.) That’s right, in an effort to clear their name and be everything to everyone, it’s ever so clear that Netflix and Katie are producing a documentary series, where members of the trans community, five, ten, sometimes fifteen years after their transition, will engage in a game of hide and seek with their parents. As the parents hide, anywhere in the world, their Trans children, search not for them–initially–but rather for the truth… The truth, regarding, whether or not they’re happy with their children transitioning into a different gender. As Her Highness describes, “it’ll be an excellent opportunity for the world to recognize that going into hiding during controversy only makes your presence louder in the conversation.” It’s not enough that these people have been able to completely swap out reproductive organs. To feel no shame and no tension, the parents waive their rights to let their offspring search their home, belongings, storage units and even bank accounts for any evidence that perhaps, they wish their kids would have stayed in their lane, instead of exploring new routes of escape from this mortal coil. “Kind of like when you play Temple Run too long and you end up dying instead of thriving.” Princess Middleton adds, with a cough. How glad she must be to not be King–that guy’s straight dying! Meanwhile, the parents will be treated to all-inclusive vacation destinations, treated to by the world’s best travel agency. Of course, I’m talking of Transaltlantik. If it’s not apparent by the spelling alone, Transaltlantik is run by an alternative type of hospitality. All the same amenities… But particularly spearheaded by trans stewards. So throughout their whole vacation, these families are actually going to get used to being tended by various pronouns, non-binaries and people on the LGBT+ spectrum. “The goal, really, is to cultivate an understanding within either side of the family. The kids’ to understand their parents’ inner insecurities about accepting their identity and the parents’ therefore, to accept that trans people can make a mean Piña Colada and give a good back-rub,” says Kate Middleton. Already in production, the series will be one… Series-long. In other words, nine episodes long. In some territories, they’re actually divided differently–the runtime–to last an actual six episodes long. Because really “6” and “9” are the most transitioned of numbers. Them and one vs. seven. Just a small extension here and there and it’s a spitting image of confusion. Then, I suppose two and five but that requires a liposuction at some point and some procedures are much too complicated to involve all of that. “Some people say my goal is to bring awareness. No. I need to make money to get rid of this fucking disease in my body. I don’t want my kids growing up with Meghan’s bullshit.”